These queer guys are something else.

I’m thinking of having the queer guys in to straighten up the darling husband, but he’s a smidge askeered of them.

**evile laughter**

He’s also a bit askeered of the half-gallon of Horizon Organic milk in our fridge. It lasts about six weeks, according to the date on the carton, as opposed to regular milk. Lovely non-crunchy hubby wants to know if it’s pasteurized or if it’s going to make him gay if he drinks it.

I haven’t the heart to tell him he can’t catch the gay from a carton of organic milk. Perhaps it’ll last longer if he doesn’t guzzle it, which’ll help with the fact that I also haven’t the heart to tell him that a half-gallon of the whoremoan-free milk produced by antibiotic-free moo-cows costs twice as much as a full gallon of milk that might send dd into an early puberty.

Lovely hubby was dead-set against this organic milk thing, but two things ended up working in my favor. First, the early puberty thing. I have no idea if whoremoan-filled milk really does bring on early puberty, but I can’t think that a lifetime of estrogen-loaded milk is a good thing. When I explained to non-crunchy hubby (we could call him “partially hydrogenated,” which is a phrase I’ll steal from a non-crunchy pal) that I want our loverly daughter to hit puberty at age fifteen, like I did, and that she should grow breasts the old-fashioned way (after three years on the pill and at age 21), he said I was going about my milk persuasion in the best way possible. He’s not a fan of the early puberty (as if he has any control over it).

The second thing, though, is what clinched the organic milk purchase. What is it?

I did the grocery shopping.

Easy as pie.

Heh heh heh.

$3.29 a half-gallon for whoremoan-free milk.

Now all I have to do is put the wheels in motion to get organic chicken. That can’t be cheap.

Cheep, cheep, cheep.